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Elizabeth Warren, Facing Defeat In Dem Primary, Takes To Reviewing ‘Game Of Thrones’

Things aren’t looking swell for Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), as far as her chances of snagging the 2020 Democratic nomination are concerned. In the most recent poll of New Hampshire — a state where Warren should have extensive name recognition and where her politics should resonate with Dem voters — she dropped two points from February to April, putting her at an abysmal 5%.

She’s down nearly 10 points from August 2018.

But Elizabeth Warren has a back-up plan. If she can’t be president, she can at least be an HBO critic. In what appears to be a desperate attempt to court the Millennial vote, Warren penned a “review” of “Game of Thrones,” season 8, episode 1, for The Cut, where she gives her take on the show’s central characters and takes the not-at-all-controversial position that Daenarys Targaryen should sit on the Iron Throne when the series ends in five weeks.

Actually, Warren really, really likes Daenarys, the sometimes-hapless ruler of several mid-level kingdoms in Essos, who crosses the ocean to take control of a land she’s never even visited and doesn’t know much about. Qualifications are no matter, though, because Dany’s win somehow relates to income inequality and institutionalized racism.

Dany believes fiercely in her right to rule, but she despises what ruling means in the world she’s grown up in. She doesn’t want to be a slave owner or a dictator — and she definitely doesn’t want to become her murderous father. She tells Ser Jorah: “Slavery is real. I can end it. I will end it. And I will end those behind it.” Before sailing across the sea to Westeros, she frees the enslaved people of Meereen and creates an army that fights because they want to, not because they have to. (Also, she has dragons.)

The dragons are, of course, critically underused in the series, and seem fickle in their willingness to toast enemies on command. But Dany also doesn’t “declares that she doesn’t serve the interests of the rich and powerful … a ruler who doesn’t want to control the political system but to break the system as it is known.” Warren clearly likes and respects this, despite taking thousands in campaign donations from Google’s parent company, a handful of law firms, and several well-funded political action committees.

As Reason’s Robby Soave points out, that description is not exactly true about Dany, either.

But that’s not the point of Warren’s thoroughly banal diatribe about Westeros. She wants to be viewed as Daenarys in comparison to Donald Trump, whom she seems to believe somehow compares to Cersei Lannister, the current resident of the Iron Throne, who unseated (and outlived) several men, and returned from abject disgrace to command the land’s largest city and a formidable army.

Cersei, you see, privatizes things, buys her success, and assumes that her percieved strength will win her followers, just like Donald Trump.

Or something.

“Rather than earn her army, Cersei’s pays for it,” Warren wrote, “she buys 20,000 Golden Company mercenaries — though they arrive without their legendary elephants — with funds from the Iron Bank. … Cersei’s betting on the strength of the bank to get her through the biggest fight of her life. It never crosses the mind that the bank could fail, or betray her.”

Sadly for Warren, her battle to take the White House isn’t going quite as well as Dany’s battle to rip the Iron Throne from Cersei’s clutches (though, admittedly, Dany is somewhat more focused, at the moment, on a raging horde of thousands of frozen zombies bearing down on Winterfell castle). To continue her quest past May, Warren will need to come up with at least 2% more supporters in New Hampshire, maintain her numbers in Iowa, and pick up support in South Carolina to stay in the running for the primary debate stage.

She’ll also have to pick up some cash. She’s spent $5 million of her $11 million fundraising haul, and only brought in around $6 million in the first quarter of 2019, less than candidates like Beto O’Rourke and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) brought in in 24 hours.

Maybe she should ring up the Iron Bank.

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